…I love my girlfriend more than anything in this world and I just cannot stop thinking about it. I literally can’t think about anything else. Idk why, but eventho the only thing on my mind right now is her, my head still is just soooo packed with thoughts n totally consumed. All I can think about is just a million different things about her! It’s the weirdest fucking thing and impossible to explain, but it’s just like my head is full of thoughts but not that a bunch of different things r on my mind, it’s just so many different constant thoughts all about the person I love.
Anything that I could possibly think about at any moment, all can just tie right back to her n revolve around that… Whether it have to do with any of the things going on in my life, anything about my future, anything about my past, what I should do about my life, the amount of pain I’m in, going somewhere, doing something, watching something, wanting something, what I have, what I don’t have, what I’ve lost, what I’ve gained… Any topic at all. No matter what can be on my mind, there’s a million ways they all bring different things, each having to do with her or us, to my mind.
Idk, but I guess it just must be that when you’re truly in love and someone means everything to you, they just play that huge of a role in your life and this is just what happens..?
…or else I just am as crazy as I feel I am… idkkkk, but if I just am that crazy n it’s a bad thing then I just wish for her that I weren’t so crazy n were just a “normal” person :-/
Rest In Peace, and live on for eternity with the qualities you did in your physical life...
Louis, you have been the greatest inspiration in my life. The most incredible person to walk this earth, and the one person I’ve ever been so blessed to have met in this life.
Your strength, your faith, your will, your optimism and positivity, your joy, your love, your undying selflessness, loyalty, care, and dedication… Your impact on my life and the lives of everyone who’s known you, will never be forgotten. I’m forever grateful for the inspiration you have always given me, unlike any other could ever.
I’ve strived from the day you entered my life, to ever be able to become half the man you were. The way you suffered for decades with unfathomable torment, while still keeping the utmost faith and dedication and love of life… The hardships you have always faced and never deserved… Every hurdle you have encountered and every struggle you have overcome… The way that you had the ability to just brighten the lives of an entire room with simply just your presence, in spite of all the pain you were enduring… The way you cared about every single thing in every other person’s life, while being able to overlook all the strife that your own life was encompassed by. These are the things that made you YOU. In life and in death. Your legacy will live on forever and my love and thanks will never fade. I will forever regard you as a true saint… an angel… a soldier of God… You never were one from this realm, this world, this dimension… Someone truly sent from heaven to bless the world with your qualities.
Sultana, my prayers are with you… I love you so much, and I know that you will always have Louis by your side through all of this. I will always be here for you, and I cannot express the true sorrow I have for you to have to be enduring this. My one saving grace, is that I know he is where he truly belongs, being that the both of you are true saints, pure angels, and I am forever thankful for the impact you both have had on myself and my life.
I will forever be grateful for this inspiration I have been blessed with by you.
When you’ve lived your entire life as your own worst fucking enemy, yet at the same time have become the only one helping you and thinking highly of yourself, and no longer destroying your own self. …but you can’t get escape that stigma about you, that preexisting notion of who you are, that judgement everyone has passed on you over time, everyone else’s beliefs of you… All the negative shit that you yourself have gotten past but still hafta struggle because of it being thrown in your face from ones other than yourself.
I may mean a lot to myself, I may think more highly of myself, I may finally have pride in myself… Yet there’s not a person on this earth who sees that, who feels that same way about me, who believes in me, not one person who tries to help, let alone prevent making it all just harder and worse and tearing me apart and hindering the self-esteem progress I’ve made on my own!… :’(. Torture is my destiny.
God please just help me… I’m coming to you directly for guidance, out of complete and utter despair. I’m lost and trying to find my own way but it’s all too evident that you need to intervene as nobody else can, is, or will.
I haven’t lost hope or my faith in myself, I just do not know the answers, and that is why I resort to the only other option I find possible.
I’ll do anything and everything I must on my own, I simply just need only the guidance of how to go about that.
I admit I can’t do this on my own and that I need you to show me the way so that I may follow exactly that. Please, I am pleading for assistance.
Please don’t let others’ criticism an negative views of me hinder the progress I’ve finally made with my accomplishments I have made with overcoming those obstacles in my own mind.
I just ask for a sign. :’(